Life Isn't Fair - The Story of Danny Joe

So I have this friend
I'll call him Danny Joe

One day Danny Joe comes leaping out of the closet
like a fag-in-the-box
and what happens...?

He meets this wonderful guy
who's very successful
smart
witty
and on and on and on

yeah yeah
OK so he meets this great guy
and BOOM
they fall in love and live happily ever after

that was 6 years ago

out of the closet
and into the white picket fence

Now, I'm very happy for him
to be sure

but at the same time
I feel deprived
cheated

You see I never got to be that friend
you know, the one who gets the late night phone calls
those desperate, I've got a knife to my throat
sobbing phone calls
you know the ones... yeah those

No no no
Everything worked out perfect for him
and again
I'm very happy for him

BUT

Why did everything work out so perfect
for him the first time around?
That's not fair
It's just not fair I tell you

The rest of us had to
have our chests ripped open
with our hearts kicked into the gutter
and mashed into the cold cement
and topped off with salt

but not Danny Joe

instead, he gets the phone call
from me... like I haven't had my fair share
yeah I ended up calling his perfect ass
sobbing and devastated
at midnight or one am or whenever

He must have had a field day
telling me to put the gun down
to stay out of the medicine cabinet
and on and on

I'm glad I was able
to give him the satisfaction
of consoling me on more than one occasion
but come on...

When is it going to be my turn?
Part of being a friend is seeing them
go through HELL and back
and helping them take what's left
of their tattered souls and
mending them back together

I never got to do that for Danny Joe
and, once again
while I'm very happy for him.....

but if it should happen one day
God forbid ...
I'll be here
waiting for him
to come home
and mend him back together
just like a good friend would