Caller Unknown

So I'm walking down the street and my cell phone rings...

"unknown caller"

Unknown caller? Do I want to get that?
I don't know any unknown callers

"unknown caller"
OK OK
curiosity gets the best of me

"mushi mushi"
"Hi Bryan, it's me Karl"
"Karl?"
"Yeah, remember me? We dated a few years ago"

Stopped in my tracks...

"Yeah, Karl, Wow, what a surprise"
"So Bryan, how have you been?"
Now, what am I supposed to say at this point to an ex I haven't heard from in forever?
Someone whose number I deleted from my phone a long time ago.
Does he really want to know how I've been?
Am I supposed to say..
"Well, after our breakup, I went into a clinical depression but pills really do perk you right up. Unfortunately, the scars on my wrists are permanent...."

So I say what everyone says...
"I'm doing great thanks, and you?" Ouch. Big mistake.
I definately should not have asked that. I really don't care anymore.
"Wonderful, I started my own business, bought a big house and am in town for a conferance"
"Great, yeah, that's...great"
"I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight over tea"
Well, at least he remembered I don't drink coffee
But I didn't want to get together at all
I didn't even want to continue this phone conversation

"Oh Karl, that sounds great, but unfortunately I've got an engagement tonight"
"Darn, anything you can reschedule?"

Think fast... unfortunately I'm not good at lying
The first three things that popped in my head were
1) giving a speech at Survivors Anonymous
2) doing a poetry reading
3) my chemotherapy is tonight
If I had a few more seconds time, I probably could have thought of something better

"No, I'm doing a poetry reading tonight"
"Wow, I would really like to go and hear you, where is it at?"
Crap! Where do I take this lie?
"Oh I wish you could, unfortunately it sold out a few days ago"
"They charge for that now?"
"Uh yeah, Chicago is not like LA I guess"

"Damn, that's really disappointing. I really wanted to see you tonight"
"Well, there's always next time Karl, maybe I'll look you up next time I'm in LA"
Careful careful, don't make any promises you can't keep
Don't fall for the sweet talk, you know that's you're weakness....

"Well, seeing you is one of the reasons I came to Chicago for this conferance, and go over old times together"
Old times? Those were excruciating times for me. He couldn't even see that.
"I'm really sorry it didn't work out Karl"
"Well, give me a call the next time you're in LA, I've been thinking things over"
Oh oh, quick get the hell out of here
Remember, he's a self-serving jerk, fly away, fly away
"Hey Karl, my train is coming in, I gotta run"
"OK Bryan, maybe we can hook up sometime, bye"

Whew! Then I started thinking... stop thinking, stop thinking!
Why would he call me after all this time?
What did he want? Restart something? Booty call? What?
And what exactly was he thinking over? What a jerk he turned out to be?
Did he really start his own business? Is he successful now?
And what happened to that M-imbo he was going out with?
And how did he get my Chicago number?
Which one of my friends do I have to kill?

Doesn't he know that once you're deleted from the phone book you no longer exist?
Why would you call someone after a few years?
I have a new so-called life and the scars have since healed
Why open them up again?

Of course I know that he's a completely selfish person with no regard for anyone but himself. I'm sure my sensitivities didn't even occur to him. He probably didn't even give them a second thought. He was trying to play me. You heard it for yourself. It's all about him, it's always been about him. I'm sure after hanging up he went down the list and found someone else to call. What a jerk.

So I looked at the number on my cell phone call list and hit "erase"
I guess you could say I "won" but it isn't about winning or losing
It's just about moving on and living and hopefully learning something along the way
I went on and apparently he's still the same, a loser
He may never realize it but that doesn't change it
At least he will be someone else's problem now, not mine

For me, he's a skeleton in my closet
Someone from whom I learned something about myself from
that I'm stronger than him and always was
He's a footnote, a ghost
He's a "caller unknown"